Male circumcision hurts women too.
How Circumcision Hurts Women by Jocel Them
Improve Marital Sex: Keep the Foreskins by Dr. Dean Edell
How Male Circumcision Impacts Your Love Life by Dr. Christiane Northrup
Painful Sex: How 9 Months of Foreskin Restoration Helped!
Tugging Foreskin: A Painful Sex Turn-Around
Hello Orgasm! How Foreskin Restoration Improved Our Sex Life
Effects of Male Circumcision on Female Arousal and Orgasm
A Change in How Intercourse Works (NOCIRC Colorado)
Marriage and Foreskin: One Couple's Journey to Restoration
Penis 101 (How Circumcision Changes Intercourse for Men and Women) by Marilyn Milos
The Lost List (what is lost to circumcision)
Foreskin Restoration Resources
Sex As Nature Intended It (website)
Sex As Nature Intended It (book)
Male Circumcision Increases HIV rates among Women in Africa
Functions of the Foreskin by Drs. Fleiss and Hodges
Partners of Restoring Men (Facebook private group)
Women Affected by Male Circumcision (Facebook public page)
"10 Ways Male Circumcision Hurts Women"
from the site, Sex As Nature Intended
1. Coronal Ridge Hook Scrapes the Vaginal Walls, causing Soreness
2. Circumcised Coronal Hook Pulls Out Vaginal Lubrication
3. Circumcised Penis's Elongated Thrusting Stroke Dries Out Vaginal Lubrication
4. Circumcised Penis's Non-Moveable Shaft Skin Creates Friction Irritation
5. Circumcised Penis "Feels Like You're Being Poked with a Broomstick"
6. Circumcised Penis Thrusts Hard, Rough and Tough, with Pounding, Bang-away Thrusting
7. Circumcised Penis's Elongated Strokes Create Infrequent Clitoris Contact that Hinders Her from Achieving Orgasm
8. Circumcised Penis's Out-of-Sync Thrusting Frustrates Her from Achieving Orgasm
9. Circumcised Sex Lessens Feelings of Love for One's Partner
10. Circumcised Sex Can Deteriorate the Relationship
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My present uncircumcised man arrived after I'd been with several circumcised men.
ReplyDeleteI have had no relations with circumcised men since I met my current uncircumcised lover, but the difference between circumcised sex and uncircumcised sex is very obvious to me.
All my circumcised men seemed too anxious to reach their own orgasms and too caught up in getting their own pleasure. And they often left me unsatisfied, leaving me irritable, aggravated, and frustrated as hell.
Circumcised men are more rough and they tend to ‘pound away’ at me. With them, I seldom achieved orgasm.
During circumcised intercourse, it always felt like there were two sexual experiences going on—his and mine. It was never making love—it was only ‘F...ing.’ And most of the time our movements were out of sync. I was often left frustrated and feeling used
—leaving me feeling blue.
My uncircumcised man is very tender, passionate, and loving. Sex is more relaxed, mellow, and gentle with him than it was with circumcised men.
My uncircumcised man takes more time. I could make love with him for hours (and sometimes do). He is softer and gentler than the circumcised ones were. During circumcised intercourse, my noises and utterings sounded painful because it was close to painful at times! With my uncircd lover, they are more cooing, purring, and sounds of contentment, in response to the pleasure I'm feeling.
My uncircumcised partner is more sensitive, but I tend to think it is because he has a natural penis—hence, he is more delicate—he is more in touch with his penis—and his penis is more in touch with his heart.
When my uncircumcised man is inside me, he moves more smoothly, more gently, which is what I need.
Also, a natural penis feels more filling and seems to have an extra gliding sensation inside me. My current uncircd lover is usually in close physical contact with me, adding to the feeling of intimacy.
I usually have multiple orgasms with my uncircd partner that I didn't have with circumcised partners. My uncircd man gives me more frequent, powerful, all-encompassing orgasms. On a scale of 1-10, my natural orgasms rate a 12.
With my uncircumcised partner, I can relax and enjoy, knowing it will lead to orgasm.
After intercourse with my uncircumcised partner, I am much more relaxed, peaceful, fulfilled—brimming over with contentment. Bedtime sex often leaves me purring in my sleep and needing an early morning quickie before we get up. The afterglow can last for most of the day, making me horny for him that night.
Just to point out, I am a circumsised man only because of the religious reasons I grew up in. Now your previous partners were rough, not because of their lack of foreskin, just because "most men are". That's just men, you just managed to get 2 in 1 package of a gentle man, and intact at the same time therefore you think its because of the foreskin.
DeleteI myself was always a gentle man to my one and only woman, my wife. We both never experienced anyone else sexually in our lives, and I am very slow, and gentle with our lovemaking. My wife has not complained once about my lack of foreskin, prob because she doesn't know any other. And there is differences from intact and cut, but most times men who are cut, aren't taking care of their sexual parts anyhow, which adds to the lack of pleasure.
I take care of myself, eat herbs and teas, and exercise watch for drying out from chlorine, drinking lots of water etc etc. From when I was a teenager, until now a married man 34 yrs old soon, my penile skin has become softer, smoother and more sensitive. And this I can explain relates to how much masturbation in the past damages the skin.
I will bet, that those men who masturbate are the same men that 'pound' during sex. And those that are more gentle, masturbate much MUCH less.
For my part it is the opposite.
DeleteI have only known intact until the day I discovered what it looks like with a circumcised man.
I very quickly make the link with his circumcision and his sex seems "dead" to me.
I can't find any of my favorite games possible with him.
This has traumatized me deeply to the point that I have to commit myself to stop this carnage.
I make the connection with female circumcision because everywhere in the world where girls are cut, boys are also cut. The origins are the same: less pleasure for both.
SD
If I ever needed motivation to continue restoring my foreskin, then Anonymous' description above is it! As I restore my foreskin, I notice that I am more like an intact man than the circumcised guy she describes and I used to be.
ReplyDeleteAnonymous....I couldn't have said it better myself! I concur with every single assessment!
ReplyDeleteTally...you are awesome for restoring...that is an amazing thing both for you and your partner!
One thing that is rarely mentioned in discussions such as this is a particular syndrome associated with the circumcised penis that can leave women unable to participate in sex after menopause. That is a condition called Female Arousal Disorder. Women who have this syndrome have pain at the vaginal sphincter when they try to engage in sex. That pain can be so severe that it can make sex impossible. At the least, it can substantially interfere with the sex act.
ReplyDeleteThe genesis of this disorder is believed to be abrasion from a partner with a circumcised penis. The skin on a penis that has not been circumcised will easily slide up and down the shaft. An uncircumcised man's shaft skin will easily slide all the way to the base of the penis and all the way out past the end of the penis. The circumcised man's shaft skin rarely slides more than a half inch if at all. This causes friction and abrasion at the vaginal opening.
It is thought by some researchers that this friction and abrasion causes cumulative trauma over years to the vaginal sphincter. This seems to be the only viable explanation for this condition as other factors are not significantly seen.
This cumulative damage leads to nerve damage in the mucosal skin. There is an operation used to address this that replaces the damaged skin with undamaged skin from another area of the body further adding to the evidence. The problem is that the surgery is only effective in relieving the symptoms in 40% of the cases.
This adds to the war on middle age sex resulting in a slam dunk. Two studies have found that circumcised men suffer impotency years before uncircumcised men starting just a few years after the normal age for menopause. There is anecdotal evidence to support this. Phizer Pharmaceutical reported that American men consume 54% of the world's productin of Viagra, Malaysian men (Muslim and circumcised) are the world's largest per capita consumers of Viagra and Isreael (Jewish and circumcised) is the world's leading counterfieter of Viagra. This leads to the perfect storm on couple's sex life after age 50.
Frank O'Hara
I have only ever had sex with my husband, who is circumcised. I have never had an orgasm during sex. I believe this is due to lack of clitoral stimulation. I am capable of having orgasms other ways, even with only clitoral stimulation.
ReplyDeleteAdditionally, my husband has trouble getting aroused sometimes. He cannot have sex more than two days (once a day) in a row without needing at least a day off to be able to do it again. He also often struggles with reaching orgasm. Sometimes even after it's been a while - when he'd normally be very quick - he has to really fight to finish. Even though this doesn't directly affect me (well, I guess not being able to do it because he can't does), it affects me emotionally. I don't like to see him feel less like a man because he's battled moments of impotence since the age of 22.
I dearly love my circumcised husband, but do not find sex very enjoyable. I feel terrible even writing this, and I would never want him to know that. It's just that I do not find the pounding to be pleasurable, but more of a discomfort feeling. We also use lots of lube. I am always waiting for it to end, although we have sex any time he wants, as I want him to be happy. The only time it is a better feeling is if I have just orgasmed, which is always clitoral via stimulation, never from intercourse. I told him about restoring, but so far, he is not willing to put forth the effort, which is a big commitment. I'm probably only one of many women who feel this way.
ReplyDelete@Frank,
ReplyDeleteDo you have a link for this as I will be sharing this:
"Phizer Pharmaceutical reported that American men consume 54% of the world's productin of Viagra, Malaysian men (Muslim and circumcised) are the world's largest per capita consumers of Viagra and Isreael (Jewish and circumcised) is the world's leading counterfieter of Viagra."
Take care
Dave Saving
To the two anons who posted about how unsatisfying circed sex is, I know precisely how you feel. I've only ever had sex with three men in my life, including my husband. I've NEVER had an orgasm via intercourse. I can orgasm through manual stimulation of my clitoris, but that's it. For years, I have wondered if there was something wrong with me. It wasn't until I was pregnant with my first son and started researching circumcision that I realized it wasn't me, it was my circumcised partners. When I first read about the gliding mechanism and how sex was meant to be between two intact partners, I cried. I love my husband dearly, but I don't like having sex with him. It is rarely pleasurable, usually uncomfortable, sometimes just neutral. It's rarely slow, gentle, usually too fast, too hard. I'm just praying my husband will agree to look into restoring at some point.
ReplyDeleteI'm in a similar place to anonymous above this comment. I don't believe I can bring it up with my husband (who is circumcised and pro circ) , even though I've have endured over 13 months of guilt and then self guided treatment for what was diagnosed by my physiotherapist as vaginismus, after my son was born. It was assumed the problem was me. That makes me sad, angry and helpless.
ReplyDeleteMy husband and I have some degree of sexual dysfunction that I believe is related to his circumcision. I still enjoy sex, but at the end is always uncomfortable for me and rushed for him, because it simply takes so long and such intense thrusting to satisfy him. He has several brothers and their wives have all mentioned that that part of sex is just "too long" for us, and although we laugh it really isn't funny. It was not like this with my intact boyfriend. We didn't have to use artificial lubricant every time either, like I do with my husband. If we don't use lube sex can *hurt me* and that's really sad. When I was pregnant I knew that if I had a son (I had a daughter instead) that I could never do such a thing to a tiny newborn baby, but it's so much more than that. It will affect one of the most sacred aspects of not only his life, but the lives of his futures partners. Forever. I'm really sad my husband is circ'ed, but I know his mother did the best with the information she had at the time. I just can't believe that became the norm in our culture.
ReplyDeleteFor YEARS I thought there was something wrong with me! I had one boyfriend who was intact and never had these issues (dryness so bad it led to fear of intercourse) while I was with him. Unfortunately, I chalked it up to "being truly attracted to him." Which I now realize was complete bull.
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately, I am experiencing these things again with my husband. Now I just need to figure out how to bring it up with him.
This article made me cry. A woman should never be made to feel like she's broken when she's not. Thank you so much.
This is a bit of a difficult to share but I am really seeking some advice... My significant other is circumcised, I fought to leave my son intact and won! Since then I have become a full out intactivist... all my reading and research has lead me to be a bit disappointed in my sex life and the fact that I've never experienced a intact man. My SO's circumcision is way too tight and quite frankly, I think it looks gross. I'm finding it hard to enjoy myself and it has caused me to start turning down SO because of this. I dont know what kind of advice I'm looking for, I guess any tips on getting past it all, or words from people who understand what I'm saying.
ReplyDeleteI understand. I have 7 sons who are intact. My husband is not. I've never discussed with him how his circumcision has affected our relationship, he agreed to leaving them natural without knowing all the negative affects of circumcision. Basically just how unnecessary it is. I agree with you that the circumcised penis looks gross; damaged. He is unable to achieve a full erection now, which I attribute to the circumcision.
DeleteI understand what you're saying completely. I don't think my husband's penis is gross but I do feel bad for him and feel like something is missing now that I know more about circumcision. For a long time I thought there was something wrong with me. I can't reach orgasm without a vibrator on my clitoris.
ReplyDeleteMy husband recently said he is open to restoring his foreskin! I've looked into the TLC Tugger and the CAT II but not sure where we should start. Money is an issue for us as well as his willingness to "be strapped into something uncomfortable" during the day or night. Any suggestions?
I'm circumcised, I've never had any problem getting any woman to reach orgasm through intercourse. I've also never had any problem with friction or lubricating my partner, simply because I know what I'm doing, and know a woman's body better than most women do. Have you women ever thought that it's not necessarily the man's penis, but his mental capacity instead? I also don't have to pound and stab to achieve my orgasm. I can make slow, sensual, close love and reach orgasm rather quickly, and still bring my girlfriend to orgasm.
ReplyDeleteI've always thought the same as you... most of my life, anyway. Until I started restoring. And now I can say with some certainty, that no matter how good sex is for us guys (and our women) it is all the more better WITH the parts we were intended to have to work with. Google 'foreskin restoration' - there is a reason so many men today are giving it a shot.
DeleteBelieve me, there's a huge difference for women, most just don't know what it is. The sensation is completely different and so much better when a man is whole. I had a decent sex life with my circumcised partners, but there were a lot of problems that I never mentioned. Most women aren't going to tell a guy that his penis can cause painful friction because the head is a callous (seriously, it's not supposed to be calloused like that). There's a lot that women don't say or blame on themselves if there's something wrong in their sex lives.
DeleteIt's not just women that think this- every man I've met that was circumcised as an adult says that sex with their foreskin not lopped off was way better.
The truth is, you were deprived of a natural sex life and you don't want to think of yourself as harmed, mutilated or lacking in any way. But you were. You were a victim of mutilation propaganda spewed by doctors to well meaning parents.
uncircumcised (intact) are self lubricating. I'm glad you have no problem with your girlfriend but it's not the case with most. Women are left feeling dry, and in pain because of the friction from a hard penis with hardly any move able skin. at a circumcision, the fenulum is more often than not, cut, (one of the most sensitive parts.. it's the underside of the head of your penis)and can leave men feeling somewhat numb and dull in the area.
DeleteI'm wondering how old you are, because as you age your penis will continue to lose sensation, and after a while you will have to have sex more vigorously than before.
Intact men have moisture, bend to their erections, spongy skin for coushion, it's just over all a more pleasant experience than a rock hard, dry rod.
I am a 59 year old woman and have been divorced for 25 years. I have dated many men since the divorce because I was not interested in marriage. In almost all cases, if they were cut they seemed to have problems and I did not enjoy the sex. Uncut guys are so much better and sex with them is fantastic.
ReplyDeleteI'm a 25 year old woman, currently dating a circumcised man. I have been with 2 intact men in the past however, as well 11 circumcised men(including the bf). Of those 11: 1 suffered from extreme premature ejaculation; 5 had difficulties achieving orgasm, to the point where they would be rough, going very fast & hard making oral/vaginal/anal sex at the very least not pleasurable for me, occasionally slightly painful (I've had a friend of mine refer to it as 'jackrabbit sex' when guys do this. She laughs and makes fun of them, but I just feel bad for them); 3 of the 5 that had difficulties were sometimes completely unable to achieve orgasm. They often described it as a 'mental thing', which may have been related but I think it's safe to say if they had all that was lost in their circumcisions the extra sensation would do wonders for any mental blocks they may have had.
ReplyDeleteThe other 5 seemed to be less affected by circumcision, however like the first poster said it could often feel like there were 2 parts to sex...the first that I was enjoying, and then when they would get tired, not feel like going anymore, or if I basically gave them the 'go ahead' the whole sexual experience changed. From the way they thrusted, to how connected I felt. It's like they have to focus completely on getting enough friction on their penis, just pounding away at me. It wasn't always bad, but sometimes I just felt like a glorified blow up doll being jostled back and forth or up and down on the bed. Kind of awkward, and not comfortable...
This was not the case at all with the 2 intact men...all the way through I felt like we were both experiencing an equal amount of pleasure, that everything I did felt good for them. And when they orgasmed it seemed to last much longer, and was a much more intense experience for them. Felt less like they needed to 'use' me, and more like we were bringing each other to that peak at the same time.
I also enjoyed giving oral sex & manual pleasure more. The foreskin is so smooth and soft to the touch, it just felt so much nicer and natural when stroking. Whereas with a circumcised man everything is so rough, and the immediate transition from shaft to glans with no gliding skin has always felt weird to me, like I might be doing it wrong or hurting them. Oral it's a little less obvious thanks to lubrication in the form of saliva, but overall still better with a naturally smooth glans that actually retains precum/other natural lubricant thanks to a gliding foreskin.
Unfortunately, my boyfriend is one of the 3 men who sometimes cannot achieve orgasm at all. It doesn't happen as often as when we first started dating. We have gotten more comfortable together, and I have been encouraging him more to not give up. Letting him take a break with oral, fondling etc gives him a chance to rest up while still getting him closer to orgasm helps a lot I've learned. He has actually NEVER been able to come from oral alone though. Which is disappointing for me, because it's always been an enjoyable thing for me to do for a significant other.
Sometimes I get very angry about how much his circumcision affects our sex life, how jealous I am of women whose partners were lucky enough to be left intact. He knows I'm against infant circumcision, but we haven't really discussed all the reasons why yet...sometimes I wonder if he'd ever be willing to restore. He's one of the most respectful & loving guys I've been with, and I feel awful every time I find myself wishing he had a foreskin.
I'm 20 and have had 4 partners total- Two circumcised, two intact. With my circumcised partners, I had a lot of trouble staying lubricated enough to not end up with soreness from friction later. I barely got pleasure out of it. Sometimes it even got as bad a bleeding. Sex became something I avoided as much as possible. I blamed myself for all of it.
ReplyDeleteWith my intact partners, lubrication was never an issue. Every time I had sex, it was fulfilling, no matter how long it lasted. I actually got to enjoy sex and not fake.
There's also the topic of oral sex- With my circumcised partners, it was almost impossible for me to do, because of the callouses on the head. With my intact partners, it was easy to maintain a decent rhythm and motion without forcing it.
I have to admit now I don't think I could end up with a circumcised man long term because it would undermine my sexual well being and I don't want to lie to any partner about pleasure. It's not fair to them.
I'm 29 and my husband is uncircumcised. The sex I've had with circumcised partners in the past led me to believe that if I wanted to orgasm, I was going to have to wait to masturbate. I had anxiety and fear about sex because it had always hurt. With my husband I have finally found myself sexually. Now, I love sex. I love making love to my husband. I had never known what the intimacy part of being intimate was all about. I never realized that being uncircumcised could change something so wonderful and important in a healthy adult relationship so much. I'm currently pregnant with our first, and we've decided not to circumcise if we are blessed with a boy.
ReplyDeleteThat is the problem I had from my ex husband, he was cut and he was the 3 minute wonder. I always had to get myself off. I would love to be with an intact man. My son is intact and even though he is a child I hope he grows up to have a great love life!
DeleteI'm 34 and have been married to a man I love dearly for 12 years. I have spent many of those 12 years thinking that I was sexually defunct, with all the lube, vibrators, hours of internet research, and counseling that goes with that feeling. My husband suffered a botched circumcision by a doctor who performed it unwillingly, and has suffered eczema, itching, infections, and even a blockage as a result. Although his desire is strong, he requires a great deal of friction, and we both long for a gentler, more fulfilling union. I will be talking to him about what I have learned here tomorrow. I hope I can be as supportive of him when he realizes the effects of what was done to him in the same way that he has been supportive of me all these years when I thought I was the one who was missing something. Wish me luck, and thank you all for sharing!
ReplyDeleteTo all women who read this, I never enjoyed sex and very rarely had an orgasm, I had only had circed guys. I then met my current guy who has not had the cut. Its like a whole new experience!! I love sex and am ready ANYTIME he is! That peice of skin makes all the difference. I will never go back to those bare knobs, ever! Circumcision is so entrenched in this country and people like my mother will never admit that, as an ex nurse, she was always taught that boys should always have the foreskin removed. WRONG!
ReplyDeleteYet another thing wrong with me, now sex will be more stressful knowing that I'm no good without my foreskin. I'm just going to give up on sex, I think mentally I'll be better off
ReplyDeleteMuch love, Ray. My husband was cut against his will at birth, and I love him dearly and we have a fantastic sex life. Sure, it sucks that not everything that was supposed to be there is there, but he's also ventured into restoration options, and this has enhanced things even more. :) There are lots of guys 'doing it' (restoration that is) so it may be something you are interested in too. http://www.savingsons.org/2009/10/foreskin-restoration.html
DeleteI have tried restoring for 2 years. I am cut VERY tight. I have gotten nowhere with it. If you go to the Foreskin Restoration forum you will find some men with loose skin make progress and are happy but those of us with radically tight circumcisions are the ultimate "losers" - and my GF, while being only with cut guys, always came with them during intercourse because they had some loose skin to glide even if they were circumcised. I get her to the edge (I am a slow thruster) but can't get her over. She can touch herself or use vibrator after being on the edge with me ... she says it is very intimate (I get to the ejaculatory edge and stay there with very slow thrusting that is very intimate for me - and she says for her). But the O comes from added stimulation. She says she is OK with it but I wonder...
ReplyDeleteI'm feeling for those women who are posting and now as a 37 year old woman all this is coming to fruition and making sense to me know. many times im left on the edge but never achieving that O. it is frustrating and i love my husband so much. odten timws its quick hard thrusts and it is over in a minute or less and im left pulling my hair out....while he rolla over ans goes to sleep. we have 4 boys and our our 1st was circd. I didn't know any better and that's just what they did....until they brought him back and I saw it i wanted to cry. our next boys were circd. despite my constant begging and protesting I felt it was wrong but I just didn't know why. our one son they cut a blood vessel and it bled and took much longer to heal ....our last baby boy our new midwife put it all put for hubby and I was amazed at the lie we have been told so was he he just had a hard time with the new info. our last baby boy isn't cut and I'm so very thankful for that ....but I'm still sp upset for my other boys and their future potential wives...dang if I could go back and redo some things..maybe I'll give them a restore kit on their 18th bday. but the reasoning for being cut was I'm circd....my dad is its just the way it has been done. I finally asked is that a good enough reason to cut your sons penis? I'm learning so much and I'm breaking out of that's just the way it's done mentality and it has been very freeing. it was very hard for hard for hubby to break this notion that we must cut. I have had it out with my dad....father n law...brother and I have just said leave his penis out of your life I'm not knifing his bits...but they still don't get it...bad habbits and spoon fed that's just the way it's done mentality die hard... they tell me horror stories of said persons friend of friend of the mechanics cousin thrice removed who was uncut and had a terrible time. I need to direct them here from now on and tell them how sorry I feel for them and their wives because they were denied a better love life. we do the best with what info we have and I relied on our docs to give us the real truth only.to realize that it wasn't given....we must do our own research and be informed consumers and I know that now but it's a little too late for my other boys. :(
ReplyDelete