By Natalie Batt, photo © 2011
We begin transitioning our toddlers out of our bed when they are about two years old. Yet they know they are always welcome back into our bed when they wake up in the middle of the night.
This morning, my 2 1/2- year-old son was busy playing when he suddenly pointed to our bed and happily said, "Over there is perfect sleep!"
It made my day to know that our bed is still so important to him, and that he believes it is indeed the place for "perfect sleep."
When our fourth baby arrives next month, I'm sure he or she will think exactly this same thing!
Natalie's son asleep on his father
We begin transitioning our toddlers out of our bed when they are about two years old. Yet they know they are always welcome back into our bed when they wake up in the middle of the night.
This morning, my 2 1/2- year-old son was busy playing when he suddenly pointed to our bed and happily said, "Over there is perfect sleep!"
It made my day to know that our bed is still so important to him, and that he believes it is indeed the place for "perfect sleep."
When our fourth baby arrives next month, I'm sure he or she will think exactly this same thing!
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Discover ways to make your own "perfect sleep" space with articles, books, videos and stories shared on the Baby Sleep Resource Page.
Today, many parents choose to share sleep in their own big bed. The author of this piece cosleeps in their king size bed. "Just as my parents did when I was young," she adds. "We have found it to be the way that works best for our family." Other families place mattress sets together on the floor for a giant safe sleep space. Some parents choose to side-car a crib next to their bed. There are many options for safe and secure sleep sharing - and all benefit baby and nursing mothers.
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My youngest is 6 months old. He knows the perfect place to sleep is in our bed, snuggled between Mom and Dad. Our second youngest is 4, and still squeezes in there with us when she has a tough night. I would rather my children know to turn to me and my husband when they have a bad dream or are not feeling well. Bed sharing has worked for us with all four children, and they have all begun to sleep in their own beds when they are ready. Nursing and attachment parenting is so much easier when you also sleep with your baby/toddler.I highly recommend it, and I slept with my parents when I was little. It's what nature intended.
ReplyDeleteMy son is 6 months old and our king sized bed is his (and my)perfect sleep too. I just hope that when he is ready for his own bed that I am too! I love the safe feeling I get from having him nearby. When I have a bad dream, he makes me feel better too (just as I do for him)! <3 I wouldn't have it any other way.
ReplyDeletelove this! i want my 4 year old to feel welcome in our bed (he does, actually, every night around 3!) ...but he moves constantly - we do not get any sleep at all once he comes in the room. do you have any tips for co-sleeping with the hyper fidgetty 3am kid like him?
ReplyDelete@the_Tmac - Our 2 1/2 year old has been doing the same thing, but I believe it's because he anticipates the arrival of the new baby (about 2 weeks now!) and he just wants to rub his hands and arms across my chest, over and over, even in his sleep. (It may be his subconscious wondering why my breasts are so big now, but no longer have milk!) For us, we've found that he is usually less wiggly when he is next to Dad instead of me. If it doesn't seem to matter whom he sleeps by, you might also try making sure that he has enough calcium shortly before bedtime (glass of warm milk, for example) or trying a gentle homeopathic remedy like Calms Forte just to help him sleep more peacefully.
ReplyDeleteI´m TTC and I´m pretty sure I want to be a natural momma as much as I can. But would it be really, really bad if I chose not to co-sleep? That's the only thing about future parenting I'm really not comfortable with. I think everyone who wants to do it should do it! But for some reason, I can't see myself do that.
ReplyDeleteHey Jill - I never thought I would end up being a cosleeper either... but it is sooooo much easier on mom! I love my space (to spread out) so we side-carred a crib like a lot of others have done and it gave us all our own room, plus I never had to get up out of bed to nurse at night. You should look into the options some more - you may be surprised like I was. By the way, 'cosleeping' and 'bedsharing' are not the same thing -- cosleeping just means sleeping within an arm's reach of your baby.
ReplyDeleteCheers!
http://www.drmomma.org/2010/01/turn-your-crib-into-cosleeper.html
Long answer short: No, it wouldn't be really, really bad if you chose not to cosleep. In fact, a lot of amazing parents do not. However, there seems to be many myths today surrounding cosleeping, and often it is a hodgepodge of those misconceptions that lead people to believe they must *bedshare* or sleep in separate rooms, and that there is no in-between. In reality, there are a wide number of ways to comfortably, and safely "share sleep" or cosleep -- which simply means sleeping within an arm's reach of your baby. This (sleeping nearby) is monumentally beneficial for both mom (and her milk supply, hormones, stress/anxiety/depression levels) as well as baby. Sharing sleep also tends to make life much easier for mom, especially in the newborn period when babies need around-the-clock feeding for their rapidly growing brains and bodies. You may want to check out more of the "Baby Sleep Resources Page" linked at the end of this page - just explore your options and be flexible to listen to your own instincts, your own baby, and what is right when the time comes.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.drmomma.org/2009/06/truth-about-co-sleeping-how-stats.html
@the_Tmac - our rolly 4 yr old comes to bed with us & when he falls asleep (which is usually uber fast) we move him into a side carred crib that has a low bed rail The same kind you put on toddler beds. It keeps him in that space, but allows him to throw an arm over me or dad or whoever is near him or to hold hands if he wants. he doesn't mind at all. It is close, but separated enough to quit having toes in my nose. :) We also have a toddler in the bed, but so far he seems to be a much calmer sleeper - probably because he is still nursing & stays close to the boobies. <3 Not sure how helpful it is for your particular situation, but it is one that works well for us.
ReplyDelete