Even When You Lose, You are Winning

By Aubrey Taylor © 2011

For everyone who spends their precious energy spreading the word about genital integrity and the harms of genital mutilation, gentle parenting versus the harms of sleep training ("cry-it-out") and aggressive punishment, or the normalcy of giving human milk to human babies: Don't get frustrated! Don't give up! Remember: You do not have to win! The task at hand is not to change the mind of the person who happens to choose to argue with you publicly. Those who disagree and spend their time opposing your message may never change their mind. They were already the ones most likely to respond negatively to you. Rather, you are presenting a gentle, informed perspective for the thousands of others who may never type a single word about the subject in response, but are quietly watching on, reading what you write, listening to what you say. Use the arguments of your opponent as an opportunity to address the various issues on the minds of those reading silently, but not speaking.

If that one particular person never "gets it" and goes through every argument in the book, GREAT! All this means is that you've managed to introduce and work through every point, and this person has helped you do it. Allow this to enable you to detach from the frustration of hearing the other side, or thinking you've "lost" because that one didn't change his/her mind. You're battling an idea over and over, and the way you respond is being observed by others.

Right now, some babies and children will lose. And it may be your unfortunate, heartbreaking, perspective as a freedom fighter to know about their pain, but this does not mean you are losing. As long as we are out there, as long as we are being productive, we are winning. Humanity wants to change - even when it doesn't seem like it in our little circle of the world. We want to be kind, loving and respectful to our children and we all want a society that respects human rights equally. We just need the support, and freedom, to do it. This is a long term goal, so don't worry about the ups and downs. Cruelness and lack of compassion are just symptoms of cruelness and lack of compassion, not innate traits among humans. Let this help you put up your case with a calm and righteous heart, with confidence and compassion, and without insults or belligerence, even when that is what is handed to you.

And THANK YOU for all that you do!




Aubrey Taylor is an American social activist working for human rights and equality.


Also by Taylor: Effective Intactivism

Visit Taylor's YouTube channel here.

For additional informational resources on intact care, the prepuce (foreskin), and circumcision, see Are You Fully Informed?