Interview excerpt by psychologist and author, Dr. David Chamberlain, Ph.D. whose recent publications include the newly released, Windows to the Womb, Babies Remember Birth, and the highly esteemed, The Mind of Your Newborn Baby.
If we disturb the relationship of mothers and babies at birth, then how do we think we're going to have wonderful relationships between mothers and babies, of harmony and deep bonding and respect and honor coming out of that when it's been trashed in the birth process? We are kidding ourselves [to think] that we can ruin birth - fail at birth - and still pick up our reward in civilization. It's not going to be there.
When we brutalize babies, we plant the seeds of destruction of our civilization in them and they don't know any better. They just act it out. Someone once said, as we treat the babies, the babies will treat the world...and this is a great truth. We're kidding ourselves... If we just wish for civilization, it's not going to come to pass. What it's going to take are very refined, wise people, disposed to cooperation, to acceptance of the whole human family as valid, and all people as part of this valid family, or we won't have a civilized society. We won't be 'civil to one another.'
Somehow we think that a thousand Walmarts in China will make them more 'civilized.' Or if we just have more millionaires, or billionaires in the United States, we are then, by definition, the most civilized of all countries. This is delusional thinking. We can't get there that way. We need people who come out of the womb SMILING! And we're not getting that. In our country especially. With obstetrical approach, we have babies coming out of the womb kicking and screaming and protesting as loudly as their little lungs can do it - and we're not paying attention.
The smiling babies have a chance of creating a smiling society. A happy society. A tolerant society. A loving society. A cooperative society. Then we may be talking about civilization. But what if only 1 out of 1,000 comes out smiling? What is that going to result in in our civilization?
It's time we woke up about the realities of birth in our time. We're doing it wrong. It's not a model for the world. It's not a model for out time. We haven't found the right model...at least the people who are doing it right are very rare. And, as Bucky Fuller used to point out, we need a critical mass in order to expect our whole society to turn around, and for it to be really civilized, and not barbaric as it is now.
Babies Know More than You Think
Where are All the Happy Babies?
Primal Parenting: Giving Babies the Best Start in Life
Related Books in the Peaceful Parenting Collection
For more information, visit Touch the Future (TTFuture.org).
There are so many things that are pulling us adults from creating healthy, helpful relationships. Influences such as violent video games, addictions (including pornography) are taking their toll on the families. Even if they don't always seem like they should.
ReplyDeleteI am very strongly of the opinion that the way you treat your children when they're young will teach them how to treat others when it's their turn to run society. When we teach them to be upright with integrity or inspire them with wholesome relationships, they in-turn will reflect those values as they grow older. The amazing thing is that you will see the effects of your parenting as children take the reigns.
It reminds me of an article my CEO and friend Christopher recently wrote about his son taking the place as caregiver after a skiing accident. It really shows how quickly responsibilities are handed over to the rising generation. His article is linked below for your reference.
When Parents Need Children