We have been taught to peaceful coexist with other people since childhood, and this is what we want to teach our children. However, deliberate avoidance of tense situations leads to sad consequences – misunderstandings and family issues. Sometimes parents don’t know how to behave in conflict and benefit from it. We prepared some tips and advice on how to develop conflict resolution skills for children and learn to be more attentive.
Don’t ignore conflicts
Hiding your emotions and feelings won’t help you benefit from the situation. You will only make things worse for you and your kid. Avoiding controversies will only result in the situation repeating itself in a form in which you can no longer ignore it. Instead of ignoring, you should expose the emotions both of your experience and try to look at things from a two-side perspective.
Listen more
Many working parents don’t have time for their sons and daughters. This neglect can bring negative results and exacerbate old controversies. Postpone all other to-dos or use this official source to help you with writing tasks. Try to devote an hour a day to communicate with your child and listen to all the things they want to say. Be patient and attentive: you were a kid once too. Don’t lecture this time: concentrate on the emotions and internal struggles your kid experiences. Showing kindness and attention, you will achieve understanding faster.
Learn basics of conflictology
To help child resolve an inter- or intrapersonal conflict, arm yourself with knowledge about their types, features, and specifications. This will help to choose a strategy for its resolution. Adults can practice self-reflection, understand their feelings and internal worries better. But children can rarely explain what is happening to them. Be the helpful guide for your kid and learn how to deal with controversies, not from your viewpoint, but using a professional approach based on knowledge.
Understand the nature of conflict
To help the child understand their true feelings and decide on a solution, it is important to determine the nature of the conflict. Find out desires and needs of your kid and what the difficulties that cause the problem are. Apply the method of active listening: ask the child to explain the problem and pay attention to every word, then repeat the “message.” After child is convinced that you hear their problem, they will hear yours much more willingly and will take part in the search for a peaceful resolution.
Avoid proving your viewpoint
This is not a race or competition. You don’t suppose to win and desperately try to prove your point. Every quarrel needs a resolution, not a winner. You can agree or disagree, but don’t make your child behave the way you want. Explain positive and negative aspects of every problem and hear what your little opponent has to say.
It doesn’t mean you have to give in. Ask the child listen to your advice, but try to compromise. Show your willingness to achieve understanding.
Develop solution together
Since the issue is bilateral, you have to develop the appropriate solution together. Attract kid into solution finding process. Play the “what if game.” Ask child to imagine being on your side and facing difficulties you have. Then try to come up with a solution that will be profitable for everyone.
Turn conflicts into useful lessons
A mature person is a person who has learned to interact with other people and with society as a whole. We grow through what we go through. But to gain these skills of the mature person, child needs to overcome difficult challenges and conflicts. Teach your child to be courageous to talk freely about their feelings and thoughts, without offending another conflicting side. Don’t forget – kids tend to copy the behavior of the adults. Show your offspring you are ready to negotiate and compromise.
Having understood the nature of the conflict, you can choose the appropriate tactics and develop strategies for conflict resolutions for kids. But do not forget about the universal principles of any education - patience, sensitivity, and kindness. In any situation, keep your relationship with children trustful, only then you will be able to influence somehow their state and how their internal conflict will be resolved.
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