Be a Lady

“Be a Lady,” they said...

Remove your body hair. Shave your legs. Shave your armpits. Shave your bikini line. Wax your face. Wax your arms. Wax your eyebrows. Get rid of your mustache. Bleach this. Bleach that. Lighten your skin. Tan your skin. Eradicate your scars. Cover your stretch marks. Tighten your abs. Plump your lips. Botox your wrinkles. Lift your face. Tuck your tummy. Thin your thighs. Tone your calves. Perk up your boobs. Look natural. Be yourself. Be genuine. Be confident. You’re trying too hard. You look overdone. Men don’t like girls who try too hard.

“Be a Lady,” they said...

Wear makeup. Prime your face. Conceal your blemishes. Contour your nose. Highlight your cheekbones. Line your lids. Fill in your brows. Lengthen your lashes. Color your lips. Powder, blush, bronze, highlight. Your hair is too short. Your hair is too long. Your ends are split. Highlight your hair. Your roots are showing. Dye your hair. Not blue, that looks unnatural. You’re going grey. You look so old. Look young. Look youthful. Look ageless. Don’t get old. Women don’t get old. Old is ugly. Men don’t like ugly.

“Be a Lady,” they said...

Save yourself. Be pure. Be virginal. Don’t talk about sex. Don’t flirt. Don’t be a skank. Don’t be a whore. Don’t sleep around. Don’t lose your dignity. Don’t have sex with too many men. Don’t give yourself away. Men don’t like sluts. Don’t be a prude. Don’t be so uptight. Have a little fun. Smile more. Pleasure men. Be experienced. Be sexual. Be innocent. Be dirty. Be virginal. Be sexy. Be the cool girl. Don’t be like the other girls.

“Be a Lady,” they said...

Don’t talk too loud. Don’t talk too much. Don’t take up space. Don’t sit like that. Don’t stand like that. Don’t be intimidating. Why are you so miserable? Don’t be a bitch. Don’t be so bossy. Don’t be assertive. Don’t overact. Don’t be so emotional. Don’t cry. Don’t yell. Don’t swear. Be passive. Be obedient. Endure the pain. Be pleasing. Don’t complain. Let him down easy. Boost his ego. Make him fall for you. Men want what they can’t have. Don’t give yourself away. Make him work for it. Men love the chase. Fold his clothes. Cook his dinner. Keep him happy. That’s a woman’s job. You’ll make a good wife someday. Take his last name. You hyphenated your name? Crazy feminist. Give him children. You don’t want children? You will someday. You’ll change your mind.

“Be a Lady,” they said...

Don’t get raped. Protect yourself. Don’t drink too much. Don’t walk alone. Don’t go out too late. Don’t dress like that. Don’t show too much. Don’t get drunk. Don’t leave your drink. Have a buddy. Walk where it is well lit. Stay in the safe neighborhoods. Tell someone where you’re going. Bring pepper spray. Buy a rape whistle. Hold your keys like a weapon. Take a self-defense course. Check your trunk. Lock your doors. Don’t go out alone. Don’t make eye contact. Don’t bat your eyelashes. Don’t look easy. Don’t attract attention. Don’t work late. Don’t crack dirty jokes. Don’t smile at strangers. Don’t go out at night. Don’t trust anyone. Don’t say yes. Don’t say no.

Just “Be a Lady,” they said.

Author Unknown

Iceland to Ban Infant Circumcision, Introduces 6-year Jail Term for Offenders

As reported by the Truth Command

While many Americans may be circumcised, largely as a result of the prevalent Judeo-Christian tradition in the country, that isn’t the case everywhere else. And if a new law passes in Iceland, circumcisions in the country will become not just rare, but illegal.

A new proposed legislative amendment would ban the practice of childhood circumcision, making circumcision of a child illegal, and punishable by up to six years of prison time. The bill, which is supported by members from at least five different political parties (including, among others, the Pirate Party, the Left Green, and the Progressive Party), calls for amendments to the current criminal code in the country.

In fact, the proposed legislation clearly states “[Anyone found] removing sexual organs [from any child or woman], in whole or in part, shall be jailed for six years.” And unlike many health and public safety laws in the United States, there isn’t an exemption on religious grounds, as the draft makes clear. As the draft notes “While it is certainly the rights of the parents to give their children guidance when it comes to religion, such a right can never exceed the rights of the child.”

This is part of a growing trend in Europe, as Danish doctors have recently also spoken out against childhood circumcision. As the bill notes, “Circumcision involves permanent interventions into a child’s body that can cause severe pain, also such an operation involves a risk of infections and other problems.” As a result, the bill states that while the child may eventually decide they want to be circumcised, they cannot do so until the age of consent, “to understand what is involved in such action.” In Iceland, the age of consent is 15.

While the rate of circumcision in Iceland is currently rather low, it is not unheard of, and there is still some debate surrounding the issue—and not just in Iceland. In addition to Danish doctors who have previously spoken out against circumcision, there is also a movement underway in Norway, as the Progress Party (FrP)—the country’s third-largest party, and more commonly known for their anti-immigration policies—chose to support a bill outlawing childhood circumcision before age 16.

While it remains to be seen if the bill in Iceland can pass, there’s certainly some momentum behind it.

Photo credit: Exploring Iceland

Related Reading:

Should I Circumcise? The Pros and Cons of Infant Circumcision
SavingSons.org/2014/12/should-i-circumcise-pros-and-cons-of.html

Functions of the Foreskin, Purposes of the Prepuce:
DrMomma.org/2009/09/functions-of-foreskin-purposes-of.html

Intact vs. Circumcised: A Significant Difference in the Adult Penis
DrMomma.org/2011/08/intact-or-circumcised-significant.html

Foreskin and its 16+ Functions (not 'just skin')
SavingSons.org/2015/09/foreskin-and-its-16-functions-not-just.html

Foreskin Facts Postcards (oversized) available at Etsy

Born Perfect Cloth Diaper

* Also at Etsy *

We've teamed up with Stink Bombs Cloth Diapers to create the perfect fluff for your little one! The Saving Our Sons Born Perfect cloth diaper is up for pre-sale at a discounted rate of $12.99 February 15 - March 1.

Each colorful, fully adjustable with snaps, pocket diaper comes with one microfiber insert. Shipping is $3 per order (for as many diapers as you'd like). SOS Born Perfect diapers will ship at the conclusion of Genital Integrity Awareness Week (approximately 4 weeks post-presale).

Be sure to include your mailing address when checking out via PayPal, or email this information to SavingSons@gmail.com

If you prefer that PayPal not take 4%, you can send your pre-order as a "Friend or Family" donation to SavingSons@gmail.com on PayPal.com or mail by check or money order to the address below. Include a note or email us with your mailing address.

Add $12.99 per diaper + $3 shipping per order going to the same address when figuring your check-out total. If you are donating beyond the cost of your diaper(s), please include a note. We'd love to hear from you, and will respond via email.

Saving Our Sons

P.O. Box 1302

Virginia Beach, VA 23451

After pre-sales have concluded, SOS Born Perfect diapers retail at $14.99 and will be available through Etsy at Stink Bombs Cloth Diapers or Saving Our Sons, where Stink Bombs will donate a portion of each sale back to the baby-saving work of Saving Our Sons.

We look forward to seeing your little cutie in their new BORN PERFECT fluff!

❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

Cloth diapering families are welcome to join the intact-friendly Cloth Diapering Group on Facebook.

Sleeping Soccer Mom: My Hero

Glennon Doyle writes on her Facebook page:

I give you: MY NEW HERO.

This Soccer Mom, at my kid’s last game. Whilst the other parents stood loudly and earnestly and concernedly on the sidelines: this mother laid her body down on the ground, her head on her purse, and her blanket over her face - and napped. Her entire existence said: I am showing up for my kid. But I’m not gonna pretend I’m not exhausted about it. Please understand that periodically - when the sideline yelled and woke her from her warrior sleep - she would raise that little thumb of hers and say: yay. And then she’d go back to sleep.

I love her. 

She is a cultural icon for our time.

Here’s to WOMEN WHO FREAKING REST WHEN THEY’RE TIRED.

May we know them.

May we raise them.

May we be them.

I would like to formally nominate this hero as the president elect of our Women Who Have Run Out of Effs to Give Club. I will be the Secretary in Charge of Meetings. There will be no meetings. I salute you.

*******

Mothering Littles? You're welcome at:

Beyond Birth: Mothering Babies & Children (more mainstream)

FB.com/groups/BeyondBirth

Peaceful Parenting Group (more holistic)

FB.com/groups/ExplorePeacefulParenting

Intact Billboard During FGM Trial in Michigan

Help us bring this billboard to Detroit!

Over the past year we have received many requests to host a quality, pro-intact billboard in an ideal location in Detroit during the next year while the FGM trial takes place. While we do not typically feel that the exorbitant costs of billboards in less-traveled areas are worth the payout (especially when traveling billboards cost a mere fraction of the amount and are seen by just as many in large metropolitan areas; or maternity expos at large venues reach thousands of expecting mothers for pennies-to-the-dollar of a billboard), this is one exception.

The FGM case is a landmark one that is sure to receive national media attention, and is an ideal time to draw the connection between all forms of genital cutting. In addition, the trials take place in a Michigan location that is deep in the heart of a cutting culture (see Jonathon Conte's map here). For these reasons, we set out to accept template designs, and a number of ideas and examples were presented. Through various focus groups and public forums, a billboard (its wording, colors, domain, and image) was selected that reflects genital autonomy for all, and stirs people to think about this subject from another perspective in the midst of the FGM trial. Please feel free to message the Saving Our Sons Facebook page with questions or concerns you have.

• The neutral colors of baby's fingers wrapped around an adult's finger represents babies of all sexes, and reinforces the message that all babies deserve protection.

• The tag line 'Say NO to Infant Circumcision' was chosen because it will not be lost on viewers. While we prefer to use the term 'forced genital cutting' or 'genital mutilation' over its euphemism, most in Michigan (and the U.S. at large) agree that female genital cutting/genital mutilation is wrong, and the phrase does not stir the same emotional response in people. The concern is that they would see it in relation to the trial taking place and think, "Yes, cutting girls is wrong..." not making the bridge in thinking to this being about boys and intersex babies too. Because this is a billboard (not a personally held sign or face-to-face interaction), it needs to quickly move people to think and be curious enough to check things out themselves. A professional billboard is needed that will result in the most awareness raised in a positive manner, the most parents empowered with information they've not previously been privy to, and, ultimately, the most babies saved.

• The color of text was chosen because it has been shown in graphics studies to be most quickly read and retained by the human brain, and because it reflects the culturally-stereotypic color for boys.

• The IntactBaby.org domain brings the ubiquitous term intact front and center, and is short and sweet. The website can be formatted to have material on the trial, and its relation to male genital cutting at the forefront while the billboard is in place.

We are not expecting to raise enough for a digital billboard, which costs significantly more, so we are currently opting for a less expensive print billboard, in a prime location, heading into Detroit, as close as funding will take us to the courthouse. This will likely be $8,000 for 1 year. We have been in contact with several billboard hosting businesses for specific quotes and location options, and will update below with progress to goal and specifics as this is determined.

Should we not receive enough funding for a billboard, those who donate will have the option of receiving their donation back as a refund, or have this go toward the SOS Odyssey Traveling Billboards and Rallies that will take place during the trial in Detroit. The SOS Odyssey costs approximately $1,000 per 4-5 cities covered for 3-4 event coordinators heading things up, and reaches between 20-80K commuters per day, depending on location.

Thank you for your generous donation to erect this intact billboard before the trial begins!

• Also at YouCaring •

Individuals and Businesses Supporting the Intact Billboard in Detroit

★ Michelle and Chris M.
★ Jennifer R.
★ Jennifer and Chris D.


Also at YouCaring

Related Graphics

Nuchal Cords are Necklaces, Not Nooses

Originally shared by the BadAssMotherBirther

Stop! Nuchal Cords are Necklaces, Not Nooses

Ever been told your baby was in danger because of a nuchal cord (also referred to as umbilical cord around the neck)? Nuchal cords have become the perfect excuse. We fear nuchal cords now more than ever. We are told they are dangerous and problematic because its easier to lay blame with the mother and baby rather than the care provider and/or hospital. This has resulted in fear about nuchal cords.

Common excuses mothers are given: 

• you need a cesarean because baby was found to have a nuchal cord during a routine ultrasound

• you couldn’t push your baby out vaginally because the nuchal cord was “hanging the baby up”

• your baby is in immediate danger from a nuchal cord

• you’re lucky your baby survived a nuchal cord

What’s the evidence for nuchal cords? Are nuchal cords common? Should you worry?

The umbilical cord is the life line that attaches the fetus to the placenta. It is typically made up of three blood vessels: two smaller arteries which carry blood to the placenta and a larger vein which returns blood to the fetus. It can grow to be 60 cm long, allowing the baby enough cord to safely move around without causing damage to the cord or the placenta.

Nuchal cords are very common; a third of all babies are born with their umbilical cord around their neck. The umbilical cord is coiled and covered in Wharton's jelly (Wharton's jelly is a gelatinous substance that is also found on your eyeballs). The jelly and coil protects the umbilical cord from stretch and compression. It is wonderfully built to be worn around the neck without problems.

Research has found that a nuchal cord is not associated with morbidity or mortality for the baby during pregnancy. Because one third of all babies are with nuchal cords, babies who die are often found with a nuchal cord. Care providers and hospitals are quick to blame fetal deaths on nuchal cords. Families deserve to know the truth about their baby, even if it means admitting to care provider negligence and/or saying, "We don’t know why your baby died..."

Only in very rare cases does a nuchal cord ever pose a risk to baby. There is absolutely no reason to undergo a cesarean if a nuchal cord is found during an ultrasound. Your baby is not ‘held up’ by the cord at any time. During labor and pushing phase, your baby, placenta, and cord are all moving down together. The uterus shrinks down during contractions, moving the baby downward, along with their attached placenta and cord. During a c-section for 'fetal distress' or 'failure to progress during labor' more than likely your baby will have a cord around their neck (because again, nuchal cords happen to one in three babies universally), and your care provider will have you believe that the nuchal cord is all the blame. FALSE! Your care provider and hospital are covering their buns by blaming you and baby for their lack of patience.

The only time a cord can become very stretched and tight around the neck is at the end of labor when baby’s head is being born. Being 'choked' by the cord is not a real thing. Your baby is NOT breathing oxygen through their neck/airway. Baby receives oxygen through the cord. When a nuchal cord is wrapped tightly, the cord decreases the amount of oxygen and blood flow it sends to baby, but does not completely stop working. These babies tend to have their cords cut before they are fully born and have a harder time transitioning, often winding up needing more care and/or resuscitation due to the care provider cutting the cord very prematurely. But again, this will be blamed on the tight nuchal cord. These babies would recover quickly if the cord was left intact. The worst thing you can do to a baby that has a tight nuchal cord is clamp and cut immediately. Removing and/or loosening a nuchal cord right as baby’s head emerges increases the chances of snapping the cord on accident, and causing excessive bleeding and harm to the baby. Wait until baby is born to unwrap the cord.

Research Everything... 

Further reading from an evidence-based perspective:

Neonatal Resuscitation - DrMomma.org/2009/10/neonatal-resuscitation-life-that-failed.html

Born in the U.S.A. - Dr. Marsden Wagner

Gentle Birth Choices - Barbara Harper, R.N.

The Thinking Woman's Guide to Better Birth - Henci Goer

Ina May's Guide to Childbirth - Ina May Gaskin

Childbirth Without Fear - Dr. Grantly Dick-Read

Pregnant women are invited to join either of these groups:

Pregnant Moms Due [this year] - FB.com/groups/DueDateGroup (more mainstream)

Birthing - FB.com/groups/Birthing (more holistic)